With all my fears and confusions, love and fascinations, trust and lack of faith, falling and flying again, swimming in different seas, at times all of them at once – here I am. In other words, the human experience at its fullest, after living which soon you feel nothing at all.
Our trajectories are known. The extremes: lets call them A and B. Today one sways to A. Tomorrow sways to B... A to B, B to A, A to B again. Yet for a long time I suspect that walking in circles is an illusion. It is really a spiral. The extremes are repeating, yet floors are changing, or they are steps on Jacob’s ladder, or some sort of a giant genetic code that we are all climbing. This vision gives me strength to go on, to breathe, to do my best.
My studio is in the mountains north from Los Angeles. I spend days hoping to deconstruct complexity into simplicity, while looking into that 'white canvas'. This is a new period for me, as I used to be a queen of complexity. I began to refer to it as an ABC period. Most honest, direct and playful, this is also the bravest expression for me so far. First of all because I gave up control, secondly because I let go of expectations. What I am interested in is the truth.
White is already an absolute. Why would I add anything to it? I wouldn’t of course. An empty canvas is perfect. I am already happy with this. It includes nothing and at the same time everything. What happens is that very carefully something is being revealed, I begin to see into that space, help it come to life, giving it a physical shape.
Going into that zone is the happiness I know in life, a miracle I cannot explain. One day it can leave or reveal itself even more. I know for sure – It directs me more than I direct it.
I was born in 1977 in Klaipeda, Lithuania while it was a part of the USSR. I remember when around the age of 10 I saw a show in Klaipeda Exhibition Hall, where there was an installation called ‘The Water Well’ (I don’t remember the artist). Half of a hundred of clay bells were hanged of the ceiling on strings at different lengths. They reflected in the mirror placed underneath them. I was familiar with works by masters of painting. Yet at that time I understood the existence of concept, that extra dimension, which expands consciousness beyond what eyes can see. I was moved by this realization.
It is very difficult, especially knowing that the best is still not good enough, but most of all to be humble and act through love is of higher importance in life as I understand it. The gage is that pure perfection somewhere in our system, a place we don’t have a word for. Mentally I cannot begin describing this perfection, neither do I know who we are, why are we here and where we are heading. Yet sometimes I remember. Through memory glimpses of a soul. This intuitive recollection is a base for my work. The soul remembers something that consciousness doesn't know. Often to my surprise that intuitive knowledge drives my work.